Stress overload.

BIG. STUFF. HAS. HAPPENED. Well, relatively big.

Hi guys! How do normal people start of their blog posts? I usually opt for ‘Happy *insert month* since I don’t post that often, but HELLO!! A few life changing things have happened since I last posted. For one, I left school! I am finally free from the chains of compulsory education. I’m also half way through my A-Level Exams, with only 3 left and in 12 days time I WILL BE FREE – although I’ll be in a state of crippling anxiety until results day, fun (!).

I’ve been thinking a lot about the education system recently, with new A-level and GCSE reforms, tuition fees through the roof and I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s all a bit shit really. Luckily enough in the UK we have free state school education, and it’s something I’m very grateful of. Although, I can’t help feel disappointed with the whole exam season malarkey, disappointed with how I’ve performed in them and just generally disappointed with the general feeling of exams. No one enjoys exams, but I find them to be REALLY anti climatic and a shit way to test someones ability. All those stressful and sleepless nights of finishing homework, notes and essays. The tears, the eye bags, the missed deadlines, the chewed down fingernails, scrunched up paper and inky hands – all come down to one exam. I don’t think it shows someones ability to learn, it doesn’t represent the amount of effort put in over the years, it doesn’t show your dedication to studying. It shows who can cram the best, who can articulate their bullshit in a way to fit a mark scheme; I don’t think intelligence can be fitted into a tight mark scheme of wrong and right. For one subject, you study a range of different topics and at the end of it all, you get a few questions on a few of those topics, how is that fair? It’s not. You can study 6 chapters in one subject, and the final exam, which determines your whole future could literally be on one of those chapters, just one, it’s ridiculous.

I don’t feel too great today, I feel a bit flat and unmotivated with life. The stress has finally hit me, hard. Last week exam wise was terrible for me, and now I don’t have a lot to redeem myself on. Sleepless nights, a constant migraine and procrastination through the roof, I just want exams to be done. I can’t do anything without feeling guilty and that I should be revising 24/7, clearly that doesn’t stop me though. I am really excited for the summer though, I can’t wait to sit in the sun and read and go out and go to all these cool things, also I’m super excited to go on holiday with Abigail!! Can you believe it’s pride month and I haven’t engaged in anything gay and pride related, shocker, thanks exam (!). I’m SUPER EXCITED FOR PRIDE though and I hope it’s as fun as I’m expecting it to be this year. Amongst the stress I have had some fun, I’ve been to see Bastille, went to watch some spoken word poetry, had a little trip to Tate Modern, went to a really cool screening of Black Swan, had a really cute bowling date and even had a cheeky little trip to Ikea too, thrilling I know. Sometimes though, it really is the little things that make everything else seem bearable. I also got to vote for the first time in the election that turned into a shit storm, but that’s a whole different topic to be explored. Fuck conservatives 

In other news, the music industry is honestly giving me life right now. New Halsey, Lorde, Dua Lipa, and Harry Styles  all in the space of a couple of weeks?? Honestly, I’m in love. They make frantically forming essay plans bearable. I’ve also thrown so much shit out of my room away! I’ve piled all of my A-level notes and papers into a washing basket, and let’s be real I’ll probably keep it there till results day since my brain can’t cope with change or me throwing things away, but I have been really good with it recently!! I’ve moved a few things around in my room, nothing major but even moving a book out of its usual place freaks me out. I’ve been doing big chunks of change and then leaving it to settle and I suppose if everything around me is changing, I might as well move with it, right? I plan on completely sorting out my room once my exams are done and ruthlessly throw stuff away that I never look at or use, just so my room looks more spacey and free, which will weirdly give me more head space; something which I am seriously lacking right now. On that note, I shall go back to revising now, since I have about 12 other essay plans to form before Tuesday and learn, bloody great hahaha. Hope everyone else sitting exams is doing okay!!! I shall be back with proper blog posts in July!!

P.s someone give me destressing tips, much appreciated.

 

What I got up to in April! / Concert Review

Hellooooo!! Another post already? Lucky you lot. So, as I said in my March concert review post, I had two concerts in April, which were super, super fun so I thought I’d give you all a little review as promised.

Firstly, was Dua Lipa. This was my valentines gift from Abigail, since we both love singing stupidly along to her songs it’d would’ve been a waste not to see her. The concert was also in half term, which was very well planed on Abigail’s side of things. Now, she doesn’t exactly have an album out but rather she has about 5 or something songs on Spotify/Apple Music so I didn’t really know what to expect on her set list. She did sing some songs I didn’t really know nor are they coming out of her album she’s releasing so…lucky us I guess? Anyway, first things first, the dancing at this concert was something else. WHY DO PEOPLE SWING EVERY SINGLE LIMB THEY HAVE AROUND WHEN THEY DANCE? honestly, in a concert setting where 1) I can’t move away from you so I’m forced to dodge you’re flying limbs, 2) nor can I stop watching your awful dancing. It was honestly captivating. The concert itself was actually really good! I had a really nice time singing along to cheesy pop songs and laughing away the night. The stage set up was also super cool and pretty, I genuinely think I have an obsession with neon lights, but they’re so expensive to buy?! so I guess I’ll just fuel my obsession by taking pictures of them instead. The venue was Shepard’s Bush Empire, somewhere I hadn’t been before and it was nice finally going to a new concert venue, although it was somewhat a nightmare to get to as the central line broke down on the way there and would’ve left us somewhat stranded, luckily for us it was working again within 20 minute aka we were saved from the scenic route. The acoustics of the venue we’re amazing, especially when she did her stripped back stuff, which had a very intimate feel!! Overall, it had a really nice time and I would recommend seeing her if you want to spend your evening singing pop songs and letting your hair down.

Secondly, was Rationale. Now, this guy is AMAZING. I first saw him when he supported Bastille back in November 2016, and even though I didn’t know who he was nor did majority of the crowd, he still managed to get the crowd going and singing the words to his songs, they’re just so catchy. So, obviously we had to go and see him again. This time, it was at the Electric Brixton; another venue I hadn’t been to before. (check me going to all these new places #coolgirl). The show was amazing, it is definitely up there with one of the best concerts I’ve been to. Like Dua Lipa, he doesn’t really have many released songs on Spotify or Apple Music so again, I didn’t really know what to expect. Although, he is really good at getting the crowd dancing and singing along, something which I was doing throughout the concert. It honestly sounded amazing in there and the crowd was so loud and it was so cute to see that he went from supporting Bastille to playing his own venue in Brixton, massive achievement in my opinion and he even teared up as he walked off stage which pulled at my heart-strings. Hopefully he’ll release a full album soon and come back to London, I would recommend seeing him for a casual night out, because it really is worth it!

Apart from just the concerts, April was a really good month! Me and Abigail went away for a few days also in half term which was super cute and the weather was really nice too. WE ALSO BOOKED A HOLIDAY YESTERDAY TO AMSTERDAM AND I AM SO EXCITED. It’s not till August tho so I shall just wait patiently. It’s also a week before results day so lols at least I have something to take my mind off impending doom. We are also going to see Bastille in a couple of weeks, which is a little intimate charity show in a church, how exciting! (watch out for the concert review). Abigail also planned a surprise date for the day after rationale, I’m surprised she kept it a secret tbf. We went to the Cereal Killer Cafe and also went to see some goats and it was a really cute day!! One more exciting thing in April was that me and Abigail celebrated our 6 months anniversary!! We went to SOAS University to see a charity screening of Moonlight, and I understand why it won best picture (or something like that) and the plot was really good too! Although, I feel like it was a bit anti-climatic and the ending left me kinda like ?? but it was still good nonetheless. Overall, April was a really good month and now I just wish it was the end of June so I could have more fun instead of procrastinating revision and feeling guilty for it, I type this as I’m abandoning a history essay lol, but yes this will probably be the last blog for a while but bear with me!!