Stress overload.

BIG. STUFF. HAS. HAPPENED. Well, relatively big.

Hi guys! How do normal people start of their blog posts? I usually opt for ‘Happy *insert month* since I don’t post that often, but HELLO!! A few life changing things have happened since I last posted. For one, I left school! I am finally free from the chains of compulsory education. I’m also half way through my A-Level Exams, with only 3 left and in 12 days time I WILL BE FREE – although I’ll be in a state of crippling anxiety until results day, fun (!).

I’ve been thinking a lot about the education system recently, with new A-level and GCSE reforms, tuition fees through the roof and I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s all a bit shit really. Luckily enough in the UK we have free state school education, and it’s something I’m very grateful of. Although, I can’t help feel disappointed with the whole exam season malarkey, disappointed with how I’ve performed in them and just generally disappointed with the general feeling of exams. No one enjoys exams, but I find them to be REALLY anti climatic and a shit way to test someones ability. All those stressful and sleepless nights of finishing homework, notes and essays. The tears, the eye bags, the missed deadlines, the chewed down fingernails, scrunched up paper and inky hands – all come down to one exam. I don’t think it shows someones ability to learn, it doesn’t represent the amount of effort put in over the years, it doesn’t show your dedication to studying. It shows who can cram the best, who can articulate their bullshit in a way to fit a mark scheme; I don’t think intelligence can be fitted into a tight mark scheme of wrong and right. For one subject, you study a range of different topics and at the end of it all, you get a few questions on a few of those topics, how is that fair? It’s not. You can study 6 chapters in one subject, and the final exam, which determines your whole future could literally be on one of those chapters, just one, it’s ridiculous.

I don’t feel too great today, I feel a bit flat and unmotivated with life. The stress has finally hit me, hard. Last week exam wise was terrible for me, and now I don’t have a lot to redeem myself on. Sleepless nights, a constant migraine and procrastination through the roof, I just want exams to be done. I can’t do anything without feeling guilty and that I should be revising 24/7, clearly that doesn’t stop me though. I am really excited for the summer though, I can’t wait to sit in the sun and read and go out and go to all these cool things, also I’m super excited to go on holiday with Abigail!! Can you believe it’s pride month and I haven’t engaged in anything gay and pride related, shocker, thanks exam (!). I’m SUPER EXCITED FOR PRIDE though and I hope it’s as fun as I’m expecting it to be this year. Amongst the stress I have had some fun, I’ve been to see Bastille, went to watch some spoken word poetry, had a little trip to Tate Modern, went to a really cool screening of Black Swan, had a really cute bowling date and even had a cheeky little trip to Ikea too, thrilling I know. Sometimes though, it really is the little things that make everything else seem bearable. I also got to vote for the first time in the election that turned into a shit storm, but that’s a whole different topic to be explored. Fuck conservatives 

In other news, the music industry is honestly giving me life right now. New Halsey, Lorde, Dua Lipa, and Harry Styles  all in the space of a couple of weeks?? Honestly, I’m in love. They make frantically forming essay plans bearable. I’ve also thrown so much shit out of my room away! I’ve piled all of my A-level notes and papers into a washing basket, and let’s be real I’ll probably keep it there till results day since my brain can’t cope with change or me throwing things away, but I have been really good with it recently!! I’ve moved a few things around in my room, nothing major but even moving a book out of its usual place freaks me out. I’ve been doing big chunks of change and then leaving it to settle and I suppose if everything around me is changing, I might as well move with it, right? I plan on completely sorting out my room once my exams are done and ruthlessly throw stuff away that I never look at or use, just so my room looks more spacey and free, which will weirdly give me more head space; something which I am seriously lacking right now. On that note, I shall go back to revising now, since I have about 12 other essay plans to form before Tuesday and learn, bloody great hahaha. Hope everyone else sitting exams is doing okay!!! I shall be back with proper blog posts in July!!

P.s someone give me destressing tips, much appreciated.

 

Is social media doing me more harm than good?

I often find myself posting a Snapchat story and deleting it within the hour, along with this I often delete Instagram posts/tweets if I look at them too often and they just go ‘bleh’. I stopped posting on Facebook due to me wanting to hide away from people who I wish didn’t know of my existence and it was easier to just become inactive rather than going on a time-consuming deleting spree.

I do actually really enjoy social media, twitter and Instagram being my favorites, maybe that’s because I only follow people who are actually a part of my life / post good content. I mean, sometimes I want to delete it all. Not in a depressed ‘I don’t want the world to know of my existence’ way, but it’s nice to go dark for a while. I applaud people who are able to share their life on social media and post content on a day-to-day basis, or those who don’t second guess everything they post; I wish I was like that. However,  I am getting better at my social media presence though. Currently I’ve made it to 128 posts on my Instagram and I don’t find myself deleting my tweets as often anymore, which is good I suppose. I also started this blog and promote the links to each post on all social media I have (apart from Facebook).

The thing is, some days I loathe social media and it irritates the hell out of me, yet I still find myself checking it. I would love to delete everything for a while and go dark, but I have this overwhelming fear that I’ll miss out, which is completely stupid I know. Maybe I’ll delete it during my exam period. I am going away for a few days this week so maybe I’ll just stay off it then for a little head space. There are tons of pros and cons to social media, and regardless of what you use it for, I think a break from time to time is beneficial, and I don’t necessarily mean deleting it, I mean by not checking it so frequently or even going dark for a day or two! Something which I will be doing more often. Although, I’m determined not to go on a deleting spree of my wonderful Instagram feed that I have filled with lovely memories.

I’m not really sure what the purpose of this blog post was, maybe it was just a little rant that I wanted to get out of my head. I’m also determined to keep this blog going and it’s definitely something I never second guess posting online. I’m currently writing a blog post about my trip to France, however it may mostly turn into a ‘review in pictures’ kinda thing since I did end up taking like 500. What can I say, I love taking photos!  So watch this space.

Spring!

So, currently as I’m writing this, I have two major things that need to be done, yet I am putting them off with a little blog post. The first thing is my History coursework, which I literally have today to write 2500 words, in a topic I have no clue about nor do I know if I’m even meeting the criteria with my sources, oh well lols. The other thing is packing for France (EXCITING). I’m off to France for a few days on school trip which I’m super excited about but also super nervous for. In fact, yesterday I was at A&E (shout out to Tanya for sitting with me) getting seen at an out of hours GP trying to get antibiotics for a throat infection that my body decided to pick up right before my little get away (thanks for that, much appreciated). Touch wood, my throat seems to be doing much better and I can actually talk and swallow now. Shout out to our amazing NHS service.

Since it’s now Spring (HAPPY SPRING FOLKS) the sun has been shining a lot more recently, which is doing wonders for my mood, and since the clocks went forward last night it means we get longer days!! I’m a bit apprehensive about April literally being a week away. It means my exams are fast approaching, something I’m not ready for at all. My Easter half term starts really early this year for some reason, so I have the first two weeks of April off, but in actual fact, apart from a little break away with Abigail for a few days in the first week, I’m in school literally everyday for a revision session. I also have two concerts in April, so watch out for a little review on those.

At this point, I’m just longing for school to be over and exams to be done, I mean I haven’t even started revising yet but I really do hope these next two months fly by, with me being productive during them obviously. I mean, in May my fun has been vetoed, aka I should be revising everyday. It really bugs me how some of the best things are happening before / during my exams, like bro?? It bugs me that I’m gonna have to wait till July to watch Orange Is The New Black, I’ll literally have to delete twitter and tumblr due to spoilers.

Overall, I’d say March has been a pretty eventful month,It feels like it’s literally flown by but at the same time it feels like its been March for ages, weird. Not only did I go the concerts I reviewed, but it was also a friend’s birthday and me and my friends had a little get together for it and I got way too drunk for my own good, is probably why I’m ill actually. Me and Abigail also went to see Hedda Gabler at the national theatre, a play which I had never heard of before. It was actually really good, I’d give it about 7/10. The acting was very good and the plot was easy to understand. I just thought it was a bit long, I mean there was an interval but I have an attention span of a fish sometimes. Although it was a cute little date night. School wise, March has been unproductive. I did go to a sociology conference on a trip that was somewhat helpful. The place was also really aesthetically pleasing too, which led me to take shit tons of pictures of literally everything. Honestly, I take pictures of literally everything nowadays and It’s so nice to go through my camera roll and to see what I was doing each day etc, It’s a nice little visual diary. I would recommend taking pictures more often, take pictures of thing you love, cool things you see that capture your eye, or literally take a selfie or a picture of your food. A snap a day will create a little photo diary which you can review and make yourself feel good about your life (aka what I do).

I guess I’ll attempt my history coursework now so here are some pictures I took in March, enjoy!

 

 

 

 

March Concerts!

Yes I know, March is nowhere near over yet but all the concerts I had planned for the month are over (I say all as if I’ve had one everyday but in reality there’s been 3 which happened over the course of two weeks). All the concerts I plan to go to normally all bundle into a few weeks which leaves my mum with a confused expression when I tell her I’m off to a concert for the second time that week.

The first concert I attend was with Abigail and Amina M, and it was Lucy Spraggan at KOKO in Camden. Now, most people know Lucy from the X Factor with her most poIMG_3151pular songs being ‘Tea and Toast’ and ‘Last Night’ (beer fear) and I must admit, until Abigail reintroduced me, I hadn’t listen to her since. Anywho, the supports for Lucy was Katie London and The Dunwells, I can’t really comment on them as I had never heard of them before the concert nor do I remember much of
their set due to being a little bit tipsy, but they were good!! The Dunwells actually came back on stage during one of Lucy’s songs which was pretty cool and they sounded great!! Lucy’s setup was pretty simple, a neon light in the back in green which had her initials ‘LS’ and the majority of the time it was her and her guitar, which was cute and had such an intimate feel to it!! I saw her last month too at Banquet Records, an even smaller and simpler little gig with just her and her guitar and about 5 IMG_3143songs, this compared to her longer setlist at KOKO had a different feel, but both were good shows nonetheless! I would definitely recommend seeing her if you like her stuff!! Take a listen to her new album ‘I hope you don’t mind me writing’ (will post link down below). Also, shout out to my girlfriend Abigail for the ticket!

 

IMG_3303
DRAKE AND THE WEEKND AKA ICONIC.

The next gig I attend was THE WEEKND. Now, ladies and gentlemen let me tell you this for nothing, what happened at the gig was so unexpected that I’m still freaking out about it on the inside. THE WEEKND BROUGHT DRAKE OUT. Yes, you are reading right, Drake made a guest appearance. The gig to start with was a shambles, me, Abigail and Amina M turned up late and missed about 5 songs off his setlist, hence why I can’t even comment on the supports because I didn’t even see them. The fact we missed some of his songs was completely made up by bringing drake out, although it was down to us running late
/ acting like we had all the time in the world. The highlight of the concert was definitely the special appearance made. The atmosphere of the room was electric, me and Abigail didn’t even realize it waIMG_3273s Drake for a good 10-20 seconds and she definitely  realized before I did. It was such a nice moment to be apart of, mostly because it was unexpected and everyone in the room was so happy about! Definitely something I won’t forget anytime soon.

 

 

IMG_3449
when bands put rainbow colours in their lighting my gay little heart lights up

The last concert was The XX and definitely the concert that I was most looking forward too!! I’ve been listening to this band since 2012/13, not day-to-day kind of listen but now and then or if they came on I wouldn’t skip them kinda thing. Kind of like a background band in my life, so when I saw ‘On Hold’ in the charts back in November and news of their new album ‘I See You’ approaching, I HAD to get tickets to see them at Brixton Academy and oh boy, was it a good decision. Now, I’ve got the hand it to the XX, with a few years in the dark and a random comeback, they managed to sell out 7 nights at Brixton and prodIMG_3368uce a decent album (in my opinion ‘I See You’ isn’t their best work but hey ho). Anyway, their stage presence was not tip-top, they didn’t really interact with the crowd, apart from a few rambles Jamie went on about and they were late to start their set, leaving them to run over and cut a few songs short (such as intro, like bro that song is a solid 2 minutes and 8 seconds long and I would’ve sworn to you it only went on for around a minute) BUT, the music itself sounded amazing live and it really touched my heart and filled me with such warmth. I was with Abigail and she definitely saw the psycho side of me in that concert with my terrible singing screaming along to the lyrics. It was such a nice experience to share with her!!

 

Also, shout out to my Abigail for getting the tickets and going through the stress of siting in waiting rooms to get them. Honestly, it’s so nice that I get to spend time with my girlfriend and my friends at the same time, it’s also lovely to share great experiences like concerts with them both at the same time!! Overall, March has been pretty good so far, apart from A-level stress lols. Will I ever stop complaining? Nah. Also, since Abigail has been the best girlfriend getting these tickets, I’ll give her blog a little shout out, since she’s been doing this way longer than me also. Its ramblesfromabigail.com and you should check it out because it’s the cutest and I adore her writing.

 

 

 

Anywho, here are the links to the latest albums of each act I saw, enjoy!

Lucy Spraggan:’I Hope You Don’t Mind Me Writing’ https://open.spotify.com/album/5otMKAaRkAAJk1PDcL7R5C

The Weeknd:’Starboy’ https://open.spotify.com/album/09fggMHib4YkOtwQNXEBII

The XX:’I See You’ https://open.spotify.com/album/2PXy9USZAoTSdtrxfkPBnl

 

 

Generic ‘My first blog post’ post!

So, I have finally decide to add the responsibility of a blog to my ever-growing to-do-list, which is a very exciting concept. Currently, I am DROWNING in my A2 studies, with my A-level exams literally months away, terrifying I know. Haven’t I picked a great time to start a blog? I frequently get a strong urge to write, majority of the time it’s about nothing in particular. Anyone could literally give me any topic and I would find something to write about it. Now, whether my writing is good or not is a debate for another time.

For me, someones writing, whether that be in a blog post, a piece of work they’ve produced such as a poem, just gives you a little insight into their mind. I absolutely adore reading, something which I shall spend my summer doing since I rarely have the time to do it anymore. My love for reading has driven me to apply for an English Literature course at University!! This not only excites me, but also terrify’s me. Honestly, I would not class  my writing as ‘good’ nor would I ever consider myself good enough to study English at Degree level, before I started my English Literature A-level course, I was not interested in novels that were considered to be  ‘Literary greats’ and I must admit, I’m still not a fan of what you would expect an English student to enjoy, such as Shakespeare, BUT now the thought of studying well-known novels within the Literary world excites me.

I might as well add a little about myself, since this is such a fitting time to do it. As stated above, I am currently study for my A-levels in hopes to get into University for September 2017. There’s nothing extraordinary about me really, apart from the fact that my left thumb bends way too far back to be considered ‘normal’. I spend majority of my time abandoning my responsibilities and complaining I have too much to do. I finish school forever in approximately 2 months, and being the big age of 18 that I am, I should probably do something productive and useful once my exams finish, but hey ho lets see what happens with that.

I’m not going to dedicate this blog to a particular topic, I shall be ‘blogging’ (how exciting) reviews on books/concerts/music, current affairs that have sparked my interest enough for me to comment on, ‘story time’ (aka me chatting shit about something) and just anything that pops into my head really. The thought of blogging is rather exciting, although who knows when I’ll be able to fit this around my busy schedule of revision, complaining about revision, and sleeping away my revision time. I am generally excited to see the blog develop, in hopes I actually stick to it and don’t abandon it after this first post lols. This has been a rather short first post but HELLO AND WELCOME TO MY BLOG!!!!